The Disadvantages of Being a Giant. Oh, and I fell Over In a Theatre Yesterday.

I fell over in a theatre yesterday.

Not the first time and I'm sure not the last, but generally speaking, when one falls in a theatre it is through a trap door, or off of a moving stage trolley, perhaps one trips over a wire taped over backstage. Impressive falls, really.

Me? I was a volunteer usher.

The show ended, and my duty as program picker upper comes into effect. This is the second most important part of being an usher. The first of course, is helping people find their seats. I stepped up on a platform, picked up some programs and then forgot about said platform and someone should have yelled “Timmmmberrrr!” because when a six foot tall Norwegian in 4inch heels takes a fall, it's monumental.

I scurried to my feet as quickly as possible, but standing was quite awkward as a 60 something year old volunteer usher had my head in his large heroic hand. He grabbed hold somewhere between my forehead and ear, and he had a tight grip I'll tell you.

If I forgot to say thank you, then sir, I apologize, and I thank you for rescuing me with your large sturdy hand. You sir, may have saved my from a minor concussion, as my forehead surely would have made contact with seat F5's wooden armrest.

This trip made me think of the many disadvantages of being a giant:

1.Shoe size embarrassment. I will buy shoes that I like, specifically if they are on sale, AT ANY COST. Mostly its my comfort that I sacrifice. As it is quite embarrassing to not be able to squeeze into a size 10. “Ow, I mean, Oh, they're perfect. I'll have these.”
2. The “Timber Factor”. As described in the above theatre fall. No fall is small when you're six feet tall.
3.The Angry Flyer. Unless I am in an exit row, I am generally unhappy during the duration of a flight due to my knees being pressed into the plastic seat back in front of me. This is only exacerbated by the person in front of me reclining their seat. Which brings me to disadvantage number 4.
4.The Drunk Flyer. To offset discomfort I have to drink cocktails on a plane. Sorrry.
5.Car Shopping is Mostly about Headroom. I'm young, I like sporty cars, but lets face it, they are not made for giants like me. I can usually slide the seat back far enough to fit my legs, but then, I can't sit up straight, so...
6.The Grocery Assistant. I do not go to the grocery store during peak hours anymore. I end up helping so many people get things from the top shelf, that I forget what I'm there for. They should probably just staff tall people to be personal shoppers.

I'd keep listing disadvantages but really I just wanted to let you know that I fell in a theatre yesterday.

Being tall is coolsies in more ways than not, but I'd hate to make the shorties out there jealous. You're welcome.